Instagram Oct 24, 2023 · 2 mins read
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To many people, geese are probably the “Karens” of the animal kingdom— constantly inducing fear wherever they go, and honking nonstop. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they aren’t going anywhere. So, as payback for all the poop we’ve had to wipe from the bottoms of our shoes, we might as well gossip about them behind their backs.

Over the past couple of days, I’ve interviewed many people about their interactions and feelings about geese, and these people have had their fair share of trauma. Fiona, a Grade 9, says that a goose bit her, and countless other people I interviewed shared stories about being chased by geese. One of these people was Nyela, another Grade 9, who says that a goose attacked her while she was walking peacefully (yikes).

But have no fear, because for those of you who love geese, there is a small but still-existing hope for their public image. While it’s not a gold star of approval, the feelings these people have for them is not hate. Some people have come forward saying that they feel apathetic towards geese, and on rare occasions, the student body has even seen the geese being friendly with a mysterious student from our school, dubbed the “goose whisperer”.

To see for myself if the overwhelming hate for geese at our school was unfounded or not, I went to the front of the school, one of the places where a lot of the geese spend their time, and attempted to interview a whole gaggle of them. My attempt was unsuccessful, though, because, for some reason, no matter how close I stalked behind them and made noise, I was practically invisible to them. So for now, I guess I must go on, not knowing why they insist on harassing our wonderful MCI students!

Overall, no matter the opinion you may have of geese, whether it’s the urge to burn them to the ground or the longing to play house with them, they’re not showing any sign of leaving anytime soon, so we might as well accept it.

I wish you many years of not coming into contact with goose poop! Honk you later!!