What is stress? In your Physics class stress is the weight or tension exerted on an object; in your English class it might refer to the emphasis or importance of a word in a sentence. But that’s not the stress most of us think of when we talk about stress. I-haven’t-studied-for-my-test stress, I-haven’t-marked-all-those-tests stress, I-have-no-idea-what-I-am-doing-for-the-holidays stress.
What is this type of stress? What causes it? And is there a way out of it?
Let’s start with a working definition of this mental stress – a tension or imbalance in the mental fabric of a sentient being. What causes it? In the words of one of my teachers- it is caused by giving UNWISE attention or emphasis to the faults in others, situations, or yourself.
No one is saying the people you deal with (teachers/ parents/ friends/ students/ colleagues/ or you yourself) are perfect. It requires critical thinking to know what is right and what is wrong, so you are smart to know just what is wrong here. It is a moral imperative that we do something about situations that need correction, so you are being morally responsible in wanting to change the things that need to be changed. But walking around in moral indignation at everything that is wrong with the world – is not the path of wisdom. If you find yourself stressed out – chances are you have acquired a high degree of expertise in ‘fault finding’. While it is a useful skill to have, like any other tool it needs to be under the conscious control of its handler. Then the way out of our stress is the wisdom to give only skillful attention to the faults in people and situations – just as much as is needed – not more, not less. This is the training that needs to be undertaken.
Unfortunately, as a society we spend so much time learning math, science, and English but not enough in learning about our own mental – emotional states. We expect students to focus, concentrate, pay attention, but we rarely ever teach them HOW to pay attention in the first place. Fortunately, this is a problem that has been encountered, examined, and solved by ancient civilizations.
The eastern paradigm proposes a trifold approach to work yourself out of stress – 1-by training in moral conduct, 2- by training in the art of paying attention, and 3- by training in the wisdom that discerns what to pay attention to. So how does one start on the path? you ask. Well, find a teacher. The voice of another is the first requirement for most of us to even begin to comprehend that stress is not inevitable, it is not natural, and it is not a compulsory question on this test of life. It is optional. I can choose to live a life free of stress, it is possible, it is plausible, and with the right effort it is easily verifiable for oneself.