My New Year’s Resolutions

I’ve been thinking about my New Year’s Resolutions

and I think it’s time for some internal revolutions.

I’ve got my own problems and I’m looking for solutions,

So below are some points for my self-evolution:

I'm getting blackout curtains to keep out the light pollution.

I’m baby-proofing outlets to prevent electrocution.

I’ll use applesauce for eggs and master substitution.

I’ll fight my wrongful arrest, escaping persecution.

I love my rights and freedoms so I’ll read the Constitution.

Salty water’s pretty great so I’m buying saline solution.

I’ll expand my vocabulary; learn new words like collocution.

I’ll visit Doctors Without Borders, and make my contribution.

I won’t leave people out, I’ll never be one to shun.

That last line was pretty bad, I could have used “exclusion”.

I just wanted another verse, sorry for the confusion,

But this is now the end- you’ve now reached the conclusion.